September 2011
A to Z of me [bitchez]
A. Age: 23 [almost 24!] B. Bed size: Queen, duh. C. Chore that you hate: CAT BOX! D. Dogs: Smell. E. Essential start to your day: Cuddles F. Favorite color: green G. Gold or Silver: Silver, always. H. Height: 5′ I. Instruments you play: Viola [since I was 12] Piano [since I was 14] Bass Guitar [Since I was 17] and Ukulele [since August of this year!haha] J. Job title: cable bitch. K. Kids: Smell....
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2 things that everyone should love
kali-yugaaa:
Avocados Bacon Hummus
Fixed.
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Why was everyone so crazy for Bridesmaids?
mel0di:
I was with it ‘til I realize it was really a movie about a sad woman with a jealousy problem as opposed to a Hangover-esque romp.
I mean really, the freak out scene at the bridal shower? It would’ve taken a lot more time for me to forgive her for that bull shit.
Also, I’m over bi-racial characters who don’t have any black friends. At least they bothered giving Maya Rudolph’s...
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Just get another job” is the type of comment that makes my eyes twitch. Not...
– lolwut:
i love the privileged sentiment that comes with the whole “if you don’t like your job, change it! its as easy as that!!!” that people spout when others complain.
listen: i get it. listening to people bitch about work can get tiring and sometimes you want to shake someone (me) when they...
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Ok, so I’m going to tell you guys my pant size; Something I’ve only revealed to...
– Me
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Z-overrated Deschanel
Me: GOD! I JUST WANT TO SLAP HER DUMB FACE!
Roommate: You're just hating because you want to be her. I mean, look at her! Brown curly hair, blue eyes, her clothes! You love it all, you just hate that you don't have it.
Me: I JUST WANT TO SLAP THAT FACE!
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Insult Generator →
Just ignore the comic sans.
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Well there you go.
Me: A bar named Cheers! Where everybooooooody knows your naaaaaaame!
Rachel: More like where everybody knows that someone was raped there.
Me: Psh,hahaha
Rachel: No, someone really was raped there.
Me: Oh. Well...
I need to stop reading Burning Man stuff on Reddit because it’s making my hate my life.
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So, just lemmme know when you want my pink box
– Me. [Sometimes I say things to my ex that make him incredibly unconfortable, and that just makes my day]
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Eugene! Oregon!
rinaedin:
I used to live in Oregon, but on the northwestern part of the state! Tell me about the eastern part of the state, like, say, Eugene! KTHNX.
Two words:
Dirty. Hippies.
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Violence will prevail over violence, only when someone can prove to me that...
Call center karma
I work in a call center here in Phoenix that services where I grew up. For over three years I had only spoken with two people I recognized. The first one I got so excited I accidently hung up on them and the second one I only knew because of high school and I doubt they would’ve remembered me.
Today, I spoke with my old baby sitter. Like, from when I was 3-6 years old! I have such amazing memories...
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The starbucks girl gave me my new name today...
She calls Aaron, Rufus.
She calls Jon, Sebastian.
And now I’m PENELOPE!
Today was a good day.
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Sorry work [insert Kanye shrug]
I feel like poooooo, but I don’t have any sick days left.
So, I’m sitting here ruining my “productivity” at work, but I really can’t help it.
Plus, when I stand up, I can breath better? Wut is that all about?
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You can't keep your pet? REALLY? (written by an...
You can’t keep your pet? Really? ~By a Shelter Director Our society needs a huge “Wake-up” call. As a shelter manager, I am going to share a little insight with you all… a “view from the inside” - if you will. First off, any of you whom have surrendered a pet to a shelter or humane society should be made to work in the “back” of an animal shelter - for just ONE DAY. Maybe if you saw the life...
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i want to be a dog
synecdoche:
because a dog does not have to go to work.
I am always yelling at my cat that he’s a lazy good-for-nothing that should either get a job, clean his catbox, or make me a goddamn sandwich!
He’s lucky he’s cute.
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