May 2011
April 2011
I mean, I'm not desperate.
Shasta: One day you shall have a boy; a boy to call you nicknames and out flame you at parties.
Me: Someday.
Shasta: and tell you he likes when you eat pineapple
Me: LOL
Shasta: you will love him, and he will coddle you and make you pizza
Me: This is the best imaginary boy, EVER!
Shasta: Yeah. All you have to do is write a small list of the things you want to see in him/or have him be…. stick the list by your bed and look at it before you fall asleep
Alicia: Yeah, that’s just weird
[[Side note, I read the post where Lickystickypickyme talked about pineapples, and so I’ve decided to eat more pineapples so my bajingo tastes good.]
“I, I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this… this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And, uh, the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pret…ty much now how I feel about relationships; y’know, they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and… but, uh, I guess we keep goin’ through it because, uh, most of us… need the eggs. ”
—Woody Allen [[Annie Hall]]
Inside joke time!
- Me: Hey. Did you know that thunder only happens when it's raining?
- Zach: What? Really?
- Me: Yeah. And players, they only love you when they're playing
- Zach: Wait, that's from a song, isn't it
- me: LOL! GOT YOU GOOD, FUCKER!
I'm pretty sure I'm being punished at work.
There’s no way I can totally confirm it, but I’m starting to think the people who run this place want me to kill myself.
(Suicde watch 2011)
Like. A. Boss.
After a dinner of baked fish (lawl), I did some yoga and ran on the elliptical. I’m going to start doing this, since the gym at my apartments are open and EMPTY!
I’m going to get in shape and fucking work it.
Yo.
i hate my mailman →
thoughtcatalog.com
Got some important feelings about my mailman out in my newest piece for Thought Catalog.
Yo, read this.
Listen
Sex and Violence - The Exploited
Happy Easter, motherfuckers.
I hate Easter.
Let me count the ways:
- Spending money on candy/food that is bad for you and eating it in excess.
*How much chocolate/marshmallow peeps/ham does one person really need? - People calling out of work and making it busier than it needs to be, so that they can go to church one day out of the year.
*Bitch, you’re not fooling anyone. Everyone knows that you were drunk with your twat out the night before, and going to church the next day [with a hangover] doesn’t make you a Christian. - Everything is fucking closed. [Except where I work, of course.]
*Wait, even Sui Wok is closed today? DAMN YOU AZNS! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE! - This holiday makes less sense than Valentine’s Day.
*What do eggs, a bunny, and a zombie have to do with each other?
Open Arms
Journey
Open Arms - Journey
MUUUUUUUUUUZAK!
NBD, just cried like a big ol' baby thanks to 16 & Pregnant.
I just have a lot of emotions. (Insert Mean Girls gif that I would have posted if I didn’t have to tumbl from my phone.)
Fun Fact:
When I get yelled at, my nips get hard.
[I just found this out thanks to a woman at work yelling at me for a good ten minutes]